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this was it

by Normal Park

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1.
cold jam 03:22
When the curtains freeze and I’m blowing off Would summer give me what I’m after? When you call my bluff and you know I’m wrong Still would be nice to know why but I don’t wanna I’m no stranger to winters or seasonal living Just this lack of company And I know that it’s hard to lose face But in spite of the urge to blame you We’re screaming I don’t care at all I know I fell short and I know you need better So tell me who you are, take it back to where we started I know you want more and I know that it’s harder As long as this is not about who you think I want you to be.. Can’t help but wonder if, If we’ll only know happiness when, when we’ve lost it So what is there to talk about Is it worrying to glimpse upon a memory of shame What if they don’t care at all They are right but they’re not wise And nor am I So leave some room in here for introspection, to feed the lie How it can soothe and can change the meaning of what it’s like And what it takes to get there, setting aside the old fears And waiting, but I still feel the same I’ve been let down for days Summer, you know you gotta get down on it Whether you even have a leg to stand on Pleasure, can never seem to get back to it Bitter in the fading light
2.
Linda Blair 02:24
Hold out and retract You wanna put this into my hands I’ll pay it back Though this confrontation’s shaping up for a nervous wreck So familiar in new discomfort You wanna push and then pull away Scan for pain and offset, as if you didn’t incur it (ooh) Know I’m the sucker forsure And where did all of that work get us in the end? This is too small for your barbed opinions, but Just set it off and let it all bleed out Know we’re just kidding ourselves, but… I can’t let go We’ll just dance around it We’ve said it all, so let it all drain…now I won’t forget it so Hold out and retract You wanna put this into my hands I’ll pay it back Cash out when you’re spent Just bask in the unimportance Let you do what you do best Demotivated as always
3.
Old Scratch 02:24
No matter what I do I can’t get over it I only think about the things that I was missing And everything that I wanted I’m not alone, feeling lonely And I can’t take the irony But it’s not for a lack of trying and I admit that No matter what I do I can’t get over it If I could speak up for myself then I could fix things I guess that’s all that I wanted It’s only impermanence I wanted it different, what I’ve been missing What we had lost before you left All along spirit wants you To make a way Her smile can be the consequence (she grants permission) All along spirit wants you To pick up and try again
4.
I won’t call to get through to you Couldn’t wait one moment before we swap time worn A perfect notion for a headache, I get it You’re worried that the hope is gone for good Now I guess it’s hoping that the time’s born pure Savor the honesty Even though it probably burned out like the feeling should Imitate all the features that I started with when I fell over you We embrace like any other but I won’t get through to you Pre-arranged like every other self-defeating point of view Searching for the subtext of a message dictated in undramatic style Like the highway gothic letters on the sign But I can see your face, but I can see your face Blurring at the painted lines But I can see your face, but I can see your face Before the hesitation starts Wait for a moment Coming to, in control Breaking out (before the hesitation starts) Yeah just get out of the car Please just get out of the car Savor the honesty Even though it probably burned out like the feeling should Recommit to the features that I started with when I fell over you And now it’s a new celebration of Everything I always thought I had to filter out Just don’t conflate with the feelings that I started with When I fell over you We embraced like any other but I won’t get through to you Pre-arranged like every other self-defeating point of view Pre-arranged like every other
5.
half truths 03:53
Wander out again Dark and safe and silent in the air for a moment, before You’ve been a friend to me, But have I taken more from you than I have given? Thinking I’ve started up on giving up, now Giving up on a feeling and it shows But it’s not a failing to see that it bothers me so I Grab my keys and go for a ride Never too far away swear I see my old self in the mirror It’s a hint and I think I should take it I think I should take it, I noticed the difference, I wanted you there We’ve been here before As if I had the option You’ve been too good to me Though I’ve taken more from you than I have given Thinking I’ve started up on giving up, now Giving up on feeling anymore, but… It isn’t the same, so can I try for once to give you what you wanted? No more missing out, missing out on, missing out missing out on No starting over when you’ve forgotten to leave anything behind No such thing as typical, no one play to drag this out And we’re getting worn down Is this validating in the wrong type of way? Opportunity sure costs a lot these days It was an accident when you Gave me your laugh (Not to mention ) I wonder if it stings when you hear it back Not that I’m counting on it (three wasted summers, but) Suppose that I’m grateful after all We’re only here for half truths anyways Muddled down again Filling in the silence in the air for a moment
6.
settle 04:11
Step out on the porch every two hours like clockwork The mild high club is blowing strong And you can be my welcome guest from time to time Provide good company while I suppress the appetite ‘Cause staying in is much like going out At least when we still had the choice But since we don’t we can just make it easier to… settle the mind Behind these red laced bedroom eyes Clearing out the pores every 8 hours like clockwork Stress advertisement is running long Scraping off the marked skin but this round’s worse Sustain futile treatment But at least when it fails I’ll have you to thank For some loving words A smile breaks so beauty can have its… turn So we’ll take process over outcome Ibuprofen for the ache Acute effect doesn’t matter yet, well… If it ever will anyways But somehow we settle When fate decides Our way is better But we’re still terrified ‘Cause staying in is much like going out At least when we still had the choice But since we don’t we can just make it easier to Settle the mind Inside this red draped bedroom
7.
So keep those expectations low Excuses follow familiar patterns with a curveball or two Is it too much to retain? Awake through stubborn eyes It wasn’t about this, it wasn’t about this at all Defeat my weary smile with bored expression Too anxious to refrain We’re only reading lines It wasn’t about this, it wasn’t about this at all Too angry to complain Deplete my troubled mind It wasn’t about this, was never about this at all Thought I heard Jake say “I get burned out by the good days” And I thought yeah I can relate, cause you’re wearing me out this round But I’m still working, cause we’re One and the same one and the same and it’s alright And I’m still working Given a lot through story changing shape (One and the same) But we’re caught (haunted the same and it’s alright) So level me out this round And I’m stuck staring awake through these (One and the same) Bedroom eyes (swallowed the page and it’s alright) At least I’m thankful for you hearing me out this time I wouldn’t expect this to calm you But you can expect me to share I never intended to harm you, still I never pretended to care Couldn’t have made it these years
8.
The Holdup 02:51
Coming to meet you, give me the pretense Don’t have to reach you, don’t need no reasons Dreaming I’ve found you, waking alone now Waiting to see you, waiting to hear you… well turn it up now Gonna catch me off, still awake must be sober Getting stale again stuck in place take me somewhere Are we ever done making up, dragging forward? (Are we anchored in bed?) Getting late again, call me when this is over But whatchu thinking ‘bout? Such a waste when I’m talking, when it’s all on my own sleeve Get away from the camouflage, feel no way bout the old me (Ooh) After all we’re playing fair now In a way that’s what you had taught, was just delayed by my own speed But we’re finally getting real now Gonna catch me off, lie awake, getting older (Knowing you could be 1000 miles from here) Getting stale again stuck in place going nowhere So whatchu thinking now? All in when you talk about it, “it’s all up to me” (to direct the feature) Listen to your head, listen to your body (Ooh)… so why you stressing out? Fall back when it comes to it… could be my worst mistake (not adept at failing) Listen to your head, listen to your body… so whatchu thinking now? Listen to your head, listen to your body… so whatchu thinking ‘bout? Hold up, when you think about it… I could just run in place talking all This Listen to your head, listen to your body… so whatchu thinking now? Maybe it’s best to forget about it, cause it’s all up my own sleeve Get away from the camouflage, feel no way that it’s on me (Ooh) World’s hardly playing fair now Be dismayed by your compromises, as I get played by my own fears Guess we’re finally getting real now Gonna catch me off, still awake, must be sober Getting stale again call me when this is over
9.
dial-up 03:40
Before we end up on a heartache Too hungry for an idea But today, for today We can try We can take the advice of Everyone we wanted to resemble And it’s been like this since we both were kids And I always knew you were never fond of it, neither was I So don’t feel like you have to call Just know I could hear you crumble at 3am It’s 3am… before the rest has won And you are what’s wrong But only for tonight do you resolve And I can’t shake the indictment (Can we pick up in the middle? circle back to the top) You are what’s gone (like how we’d unlearn ourselves or watch movies on cable, loose with the details ) Before the help has come (at least we’ve seen it all now at least we’ve seen it all now) But I (but I can’t even decide what’s healthy anymore) I won’t take the advice of (could you just soften the impact? Let me down slow, just... ) Everyone (Soften the impact please let me down slow) We wanted to resemble And it’s been like this since we both were kids And I always knew you would take a part of it with wandering eyes But don’t feel like you have to run The thought just makes me tremble At 3am, at 3am 3am, at 3am
10.
Well who’d have thought we could encase a life so small? It’s not quite art but it’s close enough At least I’ll know when I hear it But what happened to the Upsides? Those patronizing kind of lines that still ring true And if nostalgia is the enemy, I’ll swallow every sour note Drink it all down they said “We’ll see you motherfuckers in…” There’s nothing to criticize in this, but there’s something to prove You wanted nothing to break your stance, but it’s breaking you At least I can sympathize We’ll commiserate and keep things right on track So with nostalgia to sell we’ll see you motherfuckers in hell I don’t expect to escape these thoughts, we oughta keep things honest You wanna think for yourself (so please just shut me off, spin one up and play it out) I can’t expect you to suffer my minimization of obvious truths for Comfort (so can we just) Consider a compromise in this, and though I still have a lot to say I’ll keep it cool singing loud round town on the freeway So when the cold heart bends then we can recognize Commiserate and take things right off track And I swear we’re healing for ourselves So frame me through that lens and we’ll take things right off track (So please just shut me off, spin one up and play it out) (I don’t intend to erase these thoughts and if we’re being honest you oughta speak for yourself) And I swear we’re healing for ourselves so frame me through that lens We can keep things right off track (Please just cut me off, turn it up and play it out) And I swear we can claim this for ourselves and Share it with our friends We’ll make this right again (But I may expect you to suffer my examination of terrible truths for a good time) A harder admission You can’t ignore the plain intention But I’ve been low enough to fear it, so Don’t wait for me, don’t wait for me Give your answer when I trace it all back through in your steps

credits

released October 21, 2022

Recorded at Eureka Records by Tyler Floyd and Daniel Zasadny (guitar)
Mixed and Mastered by Tyler Floyd

Written by Normal Park
Lyrics by McKinnon Main and Jordan Mosley

Additional guitar writing/performance by past members Miles Bruns (aka Hermit Crab Leota) and Joel Harris (Hollow Shaman, The Chill Place, Dani Darling)

Guest Features:

Trumpet for Half Truths performed by Christina Nielsen and recorded by Adam Schreiber of Jack & the Bear

Guest vocals for cold jam performed and recorded by Jeremy Johnson of Cosmic Sans and Living Like Ghosts

Additional keyboards and acoustic guitar by Tyler Floyd


Cover Art:
Nielsen family photo
graphic design by Tyler Thompson (aka Half Blue)


Normal Park is (currently):
Jordan Mosley - Guitar and Vocals
McKinnon Main - Drums and Vocals
Anthony Nielsen - Bass and Baritone Guitar

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Normal Park Ypsilanti, Michigan

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